Spot the Patterns: How to Read the Signs of Hidden Stress

A simple way to read your body’s signals and steer back to balance

Photo by Ashley Batz on Unsplash

I want to start this issue with a confession: there were very early signs of unmanaged stress and gentle nudges from my body I brushed aside. Of course, I didn’t ignore them to drive my body to a total burnout on purpose. Rather, I ignored them because, despite years of spiritual and psychological work, I lacked real awareness of what they meant.

How well do you know your body?

There is a fine line to walk when it comes to learning to trust our bodies. Sprinkle it with a pinch of anxiety, any trauma or depression, and it’s a true rollercoaster. Nevertheless, our bodies keep talking and sending signals to us until there is no ignoring them.

In May 2022, sitting in my doctor’s office with yet another flu and fever, I really didn’t understand what the fuss was about. As he told me that I should have taken time off to rest, I secretly laughed at him – man, this is just a bit of flu, give me that paracetamol and let me get on with my business.

I had things to do and places to be! So I pushed forward.

As I progressed in my career and even changed jobs, other, less obvious signals didn’t even pique my attention. The fact that I never practised the violin and arrived at each class unprepared. That I flinched every time my phone pinged with a new notification, or that I was pulling my shoulders up and forward to “protect” myself.

Clearly, I feel really smart pointing these out retrospectively. We all are if we spend enough time analysing our past behaviour. 

Question is: what could really help with prevention?

Why Spotting Early Signs Is So Important

While some of my symptoms seem rather obvious and are generally experienced among people who eventually go through burnout, some others were fairly personal. However, regardless of the symptoms, one thing is clear: 

those who end up with burnout have a systemic problem with managing their stress. Thus, to prevent it, we must learn how to manage stress better.

I must note that not all stress is bad, and experiencing stress is part of our biological protective mechanisms. In simple terms, we need stress to understand that the situation we are in is undesirable and we must do something to get out of it.

Troubles start when we experience stress long-term. Living in higher-level stress can easily become our new norm, and we don’t even realise we are stressed out. In this process, our protective functions slowly turn against us.

Yet, catching unmanaged stress in its early stages and establishing a solid system to manage it takes practice. Our culture prizes “powering through”, so noticing and acting on these early signs is a radical (but necessary) act of self-care.

That’s why the first step in my SPARK framework is S for Spot. It’s about becoming aware of our general stress levels, our emotional state, behaviour patterns and thought processes behind.

Everyone Has Their Own Stress “Fingerprint”

You might find that your warning signs look nothing like a colleague’s or even your own in the past. For me, it started on a Monday morning post-holidays: I spent 15 minutes staring at my calendar, unable to make even the simplest decision. 

For a friend, it was finding herself wondering what she told which colleague, not remembering the conversations multiple times a week. Another client of mine noticed she hadn’t laughed, authentically, in months.

Signals, Not Failures

I collected some of the basic clues for you to look for:

• Body issues: headaches, tense muscles, frequent illness, restless sleep, digestive problems, fatigue that no coffee or sleep can help with.

• Mental problems: brain fog, constantly making small mistakes, difficulties concentrating, forgetting things, and obsessing over small issues.

• Emotional shifts: quick temper, feeling numb or disconnected, sarcasm or a deepening cynicism toward work, a feeling of loss of meaning or purpose.

• Behaviour changes: Cancelling social plans, more snacking or mindless scrolling to “unwind”, excess shopping, avoidance and procrastination even on hobbies.

We listen and we don’t judge

While your system will signal you in its own language, the challenge is to notice, but not to judge. A hard call, I know. Especially if you, just like me, tend to put a lot of pressure on yourself and spend time analysing your past behaviours to understand what went wrong. 

Although retrospection is useful to see how we behaved in past circumstances and helps us identify certain patterns in our behaviour, it also leaves quite a lot of room for judging ourselves if we are not careful.

Last summer, after many months of thinking about what I could have done differently, I finally understood that I had been wasting my time with overanalysing the past without making major changes in the present. I even managed to build up some more guilt and shame about the lack of progress in my life, just for the fun of it.

So what should we do instead?

Building Awareness: Your First Line of Defence

Following that summertime revelation, I had a ‘Eureka’ moment and finally understood the power of introspection and the basic techniques my therapist had been “drilling” into me (with the utmost kindness, of course).

Introspection is a fancy word for observing and paying attention to your own thoughts, feelings and ideas — in the present. It is a fundamental component in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) but the practice is rooted in ancient philosophy and spirituality. 

Introspection helps us improve our self-awareness, allows us to gain more clarity and to better align our actions with our values.

So, in Spot, the first leg of the SPARK framework, we use introspection to create the foundation of our strategy: better self-awareness. 

Some practical techniques that you can already try today to improve your self-awareness are:

• 3-minute body scan: pause and notice how your body feels at the moment.

• Self-check-in: Once a day: how is your energy, your mood, what is on your mind?

• Mini journaling: Keep a quick note of what sets you off, what soothes you, and any new/odd “symptoms” you experience.

  
  

Keep it simple and start small; consistency will beat the depth of the exercise. Awareness isn’t about paranoia; it’s about creating a compassionate partnership with yourself.

If you recognise one (or several) early signs, try not to panic or criticise yourself. Instead, take one small action to rest or even just name what’s happening. Sometimes just voicing “I’m feeling off lately” helps break the isolation.

Over to you

What’s one personal signal that lets you know your stress is quietly building? Take a moment to notice it, whether it’s a restless night, a short fuse, or simply feeling drained after what “should” be rest.

If you found these reflections valuable, please share this with someone who might need a gentle nudge to tune into their own wellbeing.

Next week, I’ll share a practical template and self-assessment for tracking and navigating your own stress patterns. The idea is that you can do it under 5 minutes without adding more workload to your schedule.

If you’re unsure where to start, that’s what this community is here for: we learn together. You can email me at hello@krisztinaiszak.com.

With you on the journey,

Krisztina

Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice; if you’re experiencing serious symptoms or distress, please seek evaluation and care from a qualified healthcare professional.